A Nameless Poem About a Caterpillar

Update:(And please forgive me if my tone is a bit more formal at the moment, I just finished watching Sense and Sensibility.) I know I said in my last entry that I would write every day, and guess what? I have written every day, just not on here. You see, it is hard to come up with something blog-worthy, and I am quite picky when it comes to my own writing. If I were a perfect writer, I would be able to astonish all my readers every day with every post; but alas, I am far from perfection in any area, much less in writing. Therefore, twelve days after my last post, I am finally sharing something.

I wrote this poem today as a result of the situation in which I currently find myself. Admittedly, I wrote somewhat hastily as I have been wanting to post, at least something intriguing for the past few days. It is meant to be somewhat hyperbolic, although the facts are true. And without further ado, may I present my nameless poem about a caterpillar.

Perhaps I am a caterpillar
Snuggled up in my cocoon of blankets.

I reach for another tissue.

I was once an inching caterpillar,
Munching towards my destiny,
Busy inching and growing and doing what it took to progress--
By inching.

Then fate, or the blizzard, or my weak immune system
Handed me a virus and the
Need for this
Cocoon.

I have an interview tomorrow.
Maybe that is when I will
Break this, my
Shell,
And stretch my new-found wings.

I will no longer inch, but touch the heights of my own expectations and fly beyond

My Dreams.

Something Creative

This week, for my class, I am supposed to keep a log of how much I write everyday. I thought that, as part of that writing time, I could write one new thing on my blog each day for the entire week. (I think what will be difficult about this assignment is making time to write, as I now work nine and a half hour days. . . It'll be hard, but as my dad says, dadgum, it'll teach me discipline!:) So here is Day 1:

The royal little terror looked like a black, phantom rabbit as it bounded in and out of snow drifts while the last bits of lavender twilight slowly faded. The treeline beyond the jumping miniature fox stood as a guard against all other unknown mysteries; but this one had escaped. Unfortunately, I was a sure target. Every other living creature was nestled in snow-muffled caverns of comfort, or in glowing-windowed houses of ignorance, but here I was, running for my life in knee-deep mounds of cold.

I could hear the creature getting closer as I bumbled through the drifts. It's rapid panting made my eyes twitch, and though small, it produced a rumbling growl that hit the gear-shift of my already-flying legs. How was it possible that I was hurtling over the snow, yet it was gaining?

I felt a tug on my left pant leg, heard a snarl, and then another tug. I decided to sneak a glance behind me to gauge my inches ahead of it. Just as I was turning my head, I felt a sharp pinch on the back of my thigh. As I tried to pull away, my foot slipped under the powder and I hit the ground with a muffled thud.

Under other circumstances, I might have had a pleasant landing, but as it was, all I thought about was shielding my head and curling up in a ball. The phantom dug at my head and arms, trying to reach my face. I squeezed my eyes tightly and waited for the first blow. I could feel it sniffing at the hole underneath my elbows when suddenly . . .

"Eww! Jezzy, you just licked up my nose!"

As I tore my arms away from my head and tried to wipe up the damage, the little skipperke dog stood on my chest in triumph.

Sparrow

I have not had time to write recently (and when I say write, I mean write as a form of art, rather than just thinking on paper), but today, in rummaging through my thumb drive in search of my resume, I found this little blurb that I wrote during the summer of 2008. I believe the principles therein still hold true, and I thought they might be worth sharing. (Also, I normally like to add a picture to my posts (no matter how terrible the resolution is) because I think it adds depth to my meaning, but I don't have one of a sparrow, and I have to go to work in about five minutes.)

Out my window, I have a view of a few rolling hills with fields of round, freshly cut hay bales, thick patches of trees, and an occasional cow. I love to sit and ponder upon the mysteries of life from my perch beside this window, and I have discovered many simple truths in this position. Part of my view also consists of the roof of my house. I used to regret this obscurity, considering that my view would be much more inspiring without it, but have since found that it too, has its own objects of enlightenment.

Where that gable meets my wall is a small nook, perfect for a handful of sparrows to make their home. I have had occasion to observe the birth, growth, and maturity of many a sparrow, my favorite part being when the babies learn to fly. They start out tentatively at first, tending to short distances, yet they learn so quickly! Within days, they flitter about as if they had always been flying. My little sister, Rosamund (6), and I have named one of those babies, Gus. He is chubby, with a black stripe across his beak, and a bold, ebony badge on his breast.

In my times of doldrums, I am drawn to this seat of edification, and almost every time, I am uplifted by a sparrow that unknowingly has come to keep me company. I stand in awe that the tender mercies of the Lord often come in the most simple of forms, and I think if we were to look around more frequently, we could be uplifted every moment, finding no need for despair or confusion at any time, because God is always there.

New Year's: Look Not behind Thee

Good Thoughts

The following are words and sources of inspiration that have influenced me this past week. They have not inspired collectively, but each one individually has encouraged me to be better, to change my thoughts, better my actions, and improve my life.

1. "Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind. " --Henry William James

2. "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people stay for awhile, and give us a deeper understanding of what is truly important in this life. They touch our souls. We gain strength from the footprints they have left on our hearts and we will never be the same." --Flavia

3. A Sure Way to a Happy Day

Happiness is something we create in our mind,
It's not something you search for and so seldom find--
It's just waking up and beginning the day,
By counting our blessings and kneeling to pray--
It's giving up thoughts that breed discontent
And accepting what comes as a "gift heaven sent"--
It's giving up wishing for things we have not
And making the best of whatever we've got--
It's knowing that life is determined for us,
And pursuing our tasks without fret, fume or fuss--
For it's by completing what God gives us to do
That we find real contentment and happiness too!

--Helen Steiner Rice

The Gift

Christmas morning, after the surprise of colorful hats, scarves and gloves from Santa, we sat amidst our messy loots in our new pajamas and pleasantly conversed while waiting for Dad to distribute the gifts from under the tree in the other room. When Rosamund realized it was time for the gift exchange, she jumped up excitedly and said, "First, I want to open my presents. . ." Before she had finished her sentence, it seemed the entire room was ready to tell her that we had to take turns according to tradition, when she concluded, ". . .that I have for all of you." As a group, we chuckled at being thus taken aback and were momentarily impressed by her benevolence until, the noisy unwrapping began again, and her words were soon forgotten. But I have been thinking about what she said ever since.

I made it a goal yesterday and today, to try to be more Christ-like so that others may remember Him easier. For some reason, it was really hard. In fact, it seemed like the more I wanted to be Christ-like, the less like Him I actually was.



Yet, my eight-year old little sister, perhaps childish and naive in some eyes, so easily reached that goal herself. She was more concerned with what she gave than what she got. My mom couldn't figure out what to buy her this year because she never asked for anything. And today, because of her willingness to give so unselfishly, I remembered the unselfish gift my Savior gave to me.

In The Living Christ it says, "[Christ] gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth." This vicarious gift is the reason for Christmas! I am so glad that we have the opportunity to celebrate Him. His gift was to all, and not only was it a good gift, but it was a GREAT gift--the best gift we could ever receive!

How eager must He be that we all accept it? Perhaps, like Rosamund, He would jump up and say, "I want you to open the present I have for you!" Do we open it? Do I? Am I as eager to accept His gift as He is to give it? I hope that I am. I pray that in accepting His gift, I can no longer merely desire to be like Him, but actually BE like Him: that maybe next time I can remind someone of Him the way Rosamund reminded me.

Painting by Liz Lemon Swindle

I'm Glad There Aren't Holes

Just as the stars complete a midnight sky, so do the lights of others' lives enrich and complete my own.

Remember Clarence, the angel without wings on It's a Wonderful Life? He said, "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" Well, after just celebrating my twenty-sixth birthday, I have been contemplating the person I am, verses the person I want to become. While thus contemplating, I began to realize the astronomical number of people who have affected my life--to make me into the me I am today. These people range from my childhood babysitter, to my parents, who continue to influence me daily: from the mother of my best friend in elementary to every single one of my Relief Society presidents: from my first grade teacher to my internship supervisor. Where would I be right now if I had not met some of my best friends? What decisions would I have made without the examples of strong, beautiful Young Women leaders? How many holes would I, unknowingly, carry with me everyday if someone in the expanse of my lifetime was left out?

I am grateful, not only for the omnipresent light of Christ, but also for His light that I receive through others. Although, I have much to improve, I believe that which is good in me has come, in large part, due to the good influences of those around me. Somehow, I wish I could send this message to everyone I have ever known, to thank them for contributing to who I am. This Hymn, number 283, expresses my appreciation best.

1. Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

2. What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

3. When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

4. For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.